Posted in Standards and EvaluationStudentsTeaching on Dec 20, 2009 - 05:00 PM
I write today from my heart, which, like my head is very confused and upset. I have been at my new school for nearly three months and I am happy to report I have not once been bullied, or teased -- until today. We all went through getting teased when we were children, and I have to admit I even did my fair share of teasing when I was young too, but it's an easy thing to fix. When you're teased as a child, you run to your teacher for comfort and advice. The scary thing is, this time the bully was my teacher.It was the end of the day and I was walking with my friend to basketball practice. My teacher stood in the hall. I called to him, "So, did I get an A on that assignment?" in a joking tone. You see, we had to create these books for our social studies class, and I was laughing about how long mine had taken me to complete.
My teacher called back, "I don't know, could you handle it if your friend did better than you on that assignment?"
I assumed he was joking, at first. So I tried to go with it, but it got worse. He went on to say that I said -- and he "quoted me" -- that I came from a hip school where there were no grades, and I went from that to being what he called a "grade grabber," which apparently is someone who is obsessed with grades. I was being made fun of for doing well in school. My teacher, my mentor, was embarrassing me in front of my new friend. I couldn't believe it.
I didn't know what my friend was smiling at until I saw another one of my teachers coming up behind us. She smiled and said, "Oh my, what's going on here?" I was trying my best to explain to my teacher I was trying to be a good student, and thought that grades mattered.
My English teacher turned to my other teacher and said, "What is she talking about?" and he just said, "I have no idea."
It didn't take long for my English teacher to join in, though. She added, "Well, you are kind of a grade grabber." She then did an impersonation of my voice: "Oh if I correct this, will I get an A then?" I was mortified.
Since then I have been much less outspoken towards my teachers. I have kept my head down and just done my work, but my question here is, why? I have never been teased by a teacher before. They are our role models. What does that show us? I felt ganged up on, for being interested in school. I felt ashamed, sad and embarrassed. I simply don't know what to do with it. I try to analyze what they were saying, convincing myself that I heard incorrectly.
I am an academically driven student. I was made fun of by the people I admire, for being interested in what they teach. I am not trying to complain -- I still find what they teach interesting. But I am now almost scared to succeed. I don't want to be that person who has no life but school. How do I prove that, without either failing their class or getting into another conversation with them? Which now I am hesitant to do.
Tags for this entry:
grades,
bullying,
achievement,
success,
role modeling,
fear
comments
Hi Claire, thanks for sharing this post. I’m really sorry that you had to go through something like this. I, too, remember being bullied by teachers in elementary school and in high school (I attended public schools for grades K-12). I think that it’s very unfortunate when teachers behave in a manner that’s inappropriate, unprofessional, and damaging. The minimum requirement for a teacher should be to treat each student with respect and kindness.
on Dec 21, 2009 - 01:54 PM
I wish adults would treat young people as they’d like to be treated. Would they like it if the principal embarrassed them in front of other teachers by calling them a kiss-up?
I’m glad that you questioned your teacher’s reaction and shared how much it bothered you. Remember that no matter how much authority or power adults gain, and how much they should know better, they’re still little children inside. They’re sometimes insensitive and immature. Their own emotional baggage still influences the way they interact with others. I can bet that your teachers were bullied themselves in some shape or form, so it’s a shame that they don’t remember how bad that felt.
on Dec 21, 2009 - 07:05 PM
Claire, I can definitely empathize with you. While I had quite a few teachers encourage my ambitious habits and zest for knowledge, many others were very rude—even bullyish, like your example here—about it with me, even to the point of discouraging me as you’ve been. A history teacher I admired a lot—I’d had her in another course as well—rolled her eyes as I continued to raise my hand to answer questions, musing, “Does anybody but Sara know the answer?” I was humiliated. When a boy who was a year older than me tried to copy off me—and then a student next to me—and I moved in time with him, covered answers, and generally didn’t allow him to copy, he called me horrible names; it was quiet and everyone could hear him, but the teacher did nothing. When I turned my test in—it was a constitution test you had to pass to graduate—she just looked at me like I was a bug. My perfect score, nor my integrity, meant nothing to her. And it wasn’t like I was in it all just for me, either; I tutored many students in that class, especially when the same teacher was out pregnant.
I’ve also had teachers ridicule me in front o f the entire class. One announced, during a period in which I was very depressed in my life, that I needed mental help—in the middle of giving a lesson! My younger sister, too, had experiences with various teachers—some worse than the ones I had—that were so bad we just decided to pull her out of high school and homeschool her.
To be fair, I’ve had my share of awesome teachers—some of whom even inspired me to become one myself. Most of my heroes are teachers. But you’re right, they are supposed to be role models, helping us to succeed rather than discouraging our desire to learn. I’m so sorry that you had to endure this experience, and regret to say that it might not be the last time you experience it, either.
What I can tell you is to not let it get to you. My mother used to tell me to think of it as a work relationship where you didn’t like your boss, but you were getting something from him and he, in turn, was getting something from you. It would be temporary and eventually over, and while you didn’t like it, you could stick it out—and definitely NOT let it change you for the worst. You could, however, let it change you for the better in learning how to deal with such people, realizing that such outlooks do exist, and simply moving on.
I don’t know if that helps or not, but hang in there. It sounds like you’re doing really well otherwise; please don’t let one snarky Scrooge put a damper on your love of learning.
on Dec 21, 2009 - 02:54 AM