My Future Takes a Stand
Tonight, I write in remembrance of four young men: Justin Aagerg, Billy Lucas, Asher Brown and Seth Walsh. Justin and Billy were fifteen and Asher and Seth were thirteen. These were boys about my age who took their own lives this past week because they were bullied by their peers -- people they should have been able to trust -- due to their sexual orientation. It's all fun and games until you're standing at their funeral and you never had the chance to say you're sorry.
It's hard to know what to say and how to feel when you read about kids who've had such an awful life due to tormenting by their own classmates that they don't want to live anymore. I'm angry and frustrated and it's easy to think: “At least it's not like that where I live,” but I can't think that. How many times have you heard the words in high school, “That's so gay” as a negative insult. Maybe, if you're lucky, you haven't heard it at all, but for me it's a daily occurrence. Do I need to try to educate myself in a school where people are at suicide risk for being themselves? I remember my Civil Rights Team leader saying happily she was so glad that no one used offensive language toward homosexual people in our school. This leader was a teacher and the fact that many of our teachers don't realize what's going on and protect those being hurt is something worth our effort to change.
How many deaths will it take? How many times do we have to hear that another young person has taken his or her own life due to their sexual orientation? My own school has become a poison environment in this regard and I always think, How many times has a kid made a homophobic remark in a group of friends and they all laugh along because they want to feel included and one of them is dying inside because he or she is afraid to be themselves?”
I am sick and tired of my own school feebly and halfheartedly “preventing” bullying of homosexual people. Wearing purple on one day out of the year will not stop the next suicide. Refusing to be a bystander as this kind of bullying goes on everyday just might help. Kids need to stop using the word “gay” as an insult and the rest of us need to refuse to participate in the bullying by not standing up to those who do it.
I, for one, refuse to remain silent anymore. Enough is enough. So, here's my declaration: The next time I hear an offensive remark. I WILL say something. And I will be one less who is at risk of unintentionally killing a young child because someone didn't stand up and say NO to homophobic remarks. We need to do something. Not just say we will, or quietly wear a pin or a shirt. Actually act. The future is in our hands, because we are the future. Justin, Billy, Asher and Seth are no longer a part of my generation's future. And I personally will be one more person, responsible for making sure they, and so many countless others did not die in vain. I am dedicated to growing up in a society where kids my age can be themselves. And it starts by saying something, no matter the risk of what your peers might say or think, because chances are, they are just too scared to say something themselves. You have to speak up for what you believe in. And so I have.
Posted in on Nov 01, 2010 - 03:00 PM
There are so many reasons why people stop writing: they don't have time; or they become apathetic about creativity; or sometimes they just don't know how to put what they want to say in words. For me, it has been an infuriating combination of the three evils that we, as writers, need to deal with that has kept me from putting pen to paper. But, tonight I have inspiration that the terrible writing block monsters don't even try to put up a fight against.Tonight, I write in remembrance of four young men: Justin Aagerg, Billy Lucas, Asher Brown and Seth Walsh. Justin and Billy were fifteen and Asher and Seth were thirteen. These were boys about my age who took their own lives this past week because they were bullied by their peers -- people they should have been able to trust -- due to their sexual orientation. It's all fun and games until you're standing at their funeral and you never had the chance to say you're sorry.
It's hard to know what to say and how to feel when you read about kids who've had such an awful life due to tormenting by their own classmates that they don't want to live anymore. I'm angry and frustrated and it's easy to think: “At least it's not like that where I live,” but I can't think that. How many times have you heard the words in high school, “That's so gay” as a negative insult. Maybe, if you're lucky, you haven't heard it at all, but for me it's a daily occurrence. Do I need to try to educate myself in a school where people are at suicide risk for being themselves? I remember my Civil Rights Team leader saying happily she was so glad that no one used offensive language toward homosexual people in our school. This leader was a teacher and the fact that many of our teachers don't realize what's going on and protect those being hurt is something worth our effort to change.
How many deaths will it take? How many times do we have to hear that another young person has taken his or her own life due to their sexual orientation? My own school has become a poison environment in this regard and I always think, How many times has a kid made a homophobic remark in a group of friends and they all laugh along because they want to feel included and one of them is dying inside because he or she is afraid to be themselves?”
I am sick and tired of my own school feebly and halfheartedly “preventing” bullying of homosexual people. Wearing purple on one day out of the year will not stop the next suicide. Refusing to be a bystander as this kind of bullying goes on everyday just might help. Kids need to stop using the word “gay” as an insult and the rest of us need to refuse to participate in the bullying by not standing up to those who do it.
I, for one, refuse to remain silent anymore. Enough is enough. So, here's my declaration: The next time I hear an offensive remark. I WILL say something. And I will be one less who is at risk of unintentionally killing a young child because someone didn't stand up and say NO to homophobic remarks. We need to do something. Not just say we will, or quietly wear a pin or a shirt. Actually act. The future is in our hands, because we are the future. Justin, Billy, Asher and Seth are no longer a part of my generation's future. And I personally will be one more person, responsible for making sure they, and so many countless others did not die in vain. I am dedicated to growing up in a society where kids my age can be themselves. And it starts by saying something, no matter the risk of what your peers might say or think, because chances are, they are just too scared to say something themselves. You have to speak up for what you believe in. And so I have.
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Melia Dicker
Nov 19, 2010 - 03:18 PM
Claire, thank you for this courageous post. It’s heartening to know that among the young people who go along with bullying and discrimination because they are scared to do anything else, there are also leaders like you who follow their moral instincts and stand up for what’s right.
I went to a small-town Catholic high that had a very homophobic environment. Several of my classmates couldn’t come out as gay until years after graduation, because they would have been bullied for being openly gay. Now that everyone’s on one social network or another, kids can terrorize each other digitally, too.
I hope that your example, along with experiential education around kindness and compassion, young people can learn to live and let live. Adults must set a strong example, too!