My Second Semester
Posted in Students on Dec 25, 2010 - 12:26 AM
At my school, Green Mountain College, I gained acceptance into what is known as the “Progressive Program”. It is one of the opportunities at my school to “chart [my] own course of study”. At my school there are four core “environmental liberal arts” classes: Images of Nature, Voices of Community, Dimensions of Nature, and Voices of Community. These courses are meant to prepare me with a liberal arts education in the context of environmental conscientiousness. However, there are seven smaller “ELA” classes that I am no longer required to take as a Progressive Program Student (PPS). As a PPS I will keep a traditional Art major, while also incorporating studies of education, philosophy, psychology, and communications. The culmination of my education would be a self-designed degree in “expressive” arts and would allow my to use my reasoning and creativity to promote social causes and examine current social issues. I can also take community college courses during the summer to make up for classes my school does not offer, while working a job or paid internship (internship applications are early this year).
I was also recently accepted to live on the honors floor, a specialty floor in on of the buildings on my campus. I knew many people here before I joined, many of them also being in the progressive program. I am involved in a club, PANTS (People Are Not Their Sex) that deals with and puts on events about sexuality and gender, for second semester we are publishing a zine. I will contribute artwork and a couple small articles. Lastly I intend to invest time volunteering at the campus farm. I took a look at all of this and surprisingly for now I still have blocks of time to study while taking 5 classes, and participating and two school clubs, while working with my advisor for other academic plans. Things are looking up right now, and I should be proud, but I'm not. I am excited some, but not happy.
I am very unsettled by the need to plan my “future,” and lately I have been questioning the extent to which people in this country are encouraged to do so. I don't have close contact with my mother, but whenever I do see her or talk to her, the first thing she does is harass me about a job. I told her that most likely I will have several small careers, and that I will change careers several times within my extended lifetime. The reason why I sound, according to her, “wishy washy”, is simply because I want to move on to better or simply different things - in the context of where I live and what I do in my community. I might work in a gallery or on a paper. I might work small jobs while I work on writing, autodidactism, or civic engagement. I might want to save money from work and then take time off to travel. She then questioned again why I don't become a teacher, so that I can be sure that I have a job. Even my father complained and argued that I am “refusing” to listen for the sake of rebellion, and essentially years down that line I will look back upon these days and “know” what was right.
This linear thinking confuses me. Just because I have an interest in something that is “secure” (and it's up to question whether teaching is a secure profession these days) doesn't mean I have to jump to have a job in it. My mother also tells me to “let the art stuff go” because it isn't immediately obvious where the money will come from. Social security, paying taxes, have health insurance, and having a place to live are too important, she says. I agree that they are important, but not to the point that I lock myself down because I spend all my time meeting these societal demands. There is more to life than financial (and its resulting psychological) security. She has “been paying into social security since the age of 16,” and after abandoning her goals to be a nurse, has worked 22 years at a state job she hates. There has to be a way that I can live that will afford me a mix of security and freedom that I can deal with or accept. I am a very open and circumstantial person.
There is also the problem of the student body at Green Mountain. I already mentioned the drug culture in my previous post. The issue now is with the academic engagement of the students. My former roommate and I were talking about this, and it appears to us that many students are there because attending college is a social norm first, and an intellectual investment second. It is also perpetuated as a vehicle to ensured economic advancement, and in light of the job crisis, one can see that this is not always the case. So while some students are really concerned about their learning, many are there to save face an make families proud.
Also, after having been in the school system for 12 years, many students seem to lack the self-direction and internal motivation needed for a college education. There are many grade-school habits -- waiting for instructor permission and command, reluctance to make the "wrong" statements, going for the grade, withholding curiosity that isn't relevant to coursework, seeing subject matter as segregated -- that have yet to be unlearned. The result is a dull classroom atmosphere. Very few students talk to the professor, and more rarely among themselves because there is still the hierarchal goal of meeting the professor's expectations first. Many students do not do the readings if the professor doesn't usually bring them up. People hardly discuss subject matter outside of class -- it is almost seen as uncool to do so unless it is to complain about professors.
And of course there is the problem of self-neglect in favor of more social freedom. This happens when the need to hang out comes above sleep or basic health. After a while staying up late becomes a matter of catching up on coursework, and saving other time for even more socializing. I don't like to cram and rush myself, and thankfully I have the habit of at least getting ahead on papers.
All of these things pose a threat to if my college experience will be positive or otherwise. I want to engage in a lifestyle that isn't caught up in the panic of “being somebody” or maintaining acceptable economic status. Life is not a steel tablet onto which we chart out our lives. Although I wish I didn't have to pay thousands of dollars to do so, I like learning and I care about continuing my education and what that means about my ability to be an engaged citizen. I think despite the overall culture of the students, staying at Green Mountain College will be a good thing if I relax and focus my energy around the people and programs that have a positive effect on me.
Some things I've been reading:
"Journalism: A Very Short Introduction" by Ian Hargreaves
"A Concise Introduction to Logic: Traditional Logic 10th Edition" by Patrick Hurley
(On and off) "House of Death" by Edward Capocy Sr.
I will see how my blogging can fit into things - I tend to put large amounts of thought and time into what I want to post.
Happy Holidays,
Zuleika : ]
Tags for this entry:
success,
school culture,
college,
security
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