Celebrating Alice Miller: Pioneering Psychologist

Posted in Philosophy of EducationParentingStudents on Apr 26, 2010 - 11:59 AM

Alice Miller, a leading psychologist whose work and books revealed the dangerous effects on children of corporal punishment and more subtle forms of physical and emotional coercion, passed away this past month in France at the age of 87. Her books are essential reading for parents and anyone who works with young people, including the The Drama of the Gifted Child, and For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence.

Miller showed how the “poisonous pedagogy” of repression and fear will lead to severe psychological problems, even if parents and other adults think they are acting in the child's best interest. Here is a powerful quote from Miller's For Your Own Good:

"Children who are lectured to, learn how to lecture; if they are admonished, they learn how to admonish; if scolded, they learn how to scold; if ridiculed, they learn how to ridicule; if humiliated, they learn how to humiliate; if their psyche is killed, they will learn how to kill - the only question is who will be killed: oneself, others, or both."

Thank you, Alice Miller, for showing the world the path towards healthy relationships and the most valuable way in which to bring about greater peace, justice, and happiness: living it out with young people.


From the NYTimes obituary:

Alice Miller, a psychoanalyst who repositioned the family as a locus of dysfunction with her theory that parental power and punishment lay at the root of nearly all human problems, died at her home in Provence on April 14. She was 87.

Her death was announced Friday by her German publisher, Suhrkamp Verlag.

Dr. Miller caused a sensation with the English publication in 1981 of her first book, "The Drama of the Gifted Child.” Originally titled “Prisoners of Childhood,” it set forth, in three essays, a simple but harrowing proposition. All children, she wrote, suffer trauma and permanent psychic scarring at the hands of parents, who enforce codes of conduct through psychological pressure or corporal punishment: slaps, spankings or, in extreme cases, sustained physical abuse and even torture.

Unable to admit the rage they feel toward their tormenters, Dr. Miller contended, these damaged children limp along through life, weighed down by depression and insecurity, and pass the abuse along to the next generation, in an unending cycle. Some, in a pathetic effort to please their parents and serve their needs, distinguish themselves in the arts or professions. The Stalins and the Hitlers, Dr. Miller later wrote, inflict their childhood traumas on millions.

Tags for this entry:
youth-adult relationships, parenting, behavior and consequences, authority, corporal punishment, child dignity, family dynamics, child abuse

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