The Gimme Culture

Posted in Parenting on Apr 19, 2010 - 02:15 AM

In a world full of freebies, giveaways, cheap plastic favors provided during everything from a dental exam to a book fair, advertisements on everything from cereal boxes to cartoon shows, and handouts from well-meaning relatives to neighbors to store clerks, how exactly is one to raise a conscious, kind consumer?

I hate to even think of my four-year-old daughter as a consumer. The word just sounds... dirty.

But she already is one, isn't she? She is provided with a very small allowance, which she spends on the trinkets that she likes (usually an animal of some sort). My husband and I like that she's learning to count, to save up for things she likes, and to learn about shopping, opportunity cost, tax, exchanging money for goods, and other very useful lessons.

What we don't like is that everywhere else we turn, everyone is either trying to get her to want something--and oh, does it work, when she sees it!--or handing her loads of stuff just because. When her friends have toys, she demands them, too. (We have yet to cave on this one.) When she visits grandma (either one) she comes home with gobs of stuff--from juice boxes to toy ponies to clothing to money. Family friends, neighbors, aunts, uncles, friends... the sources of stuff are endless.

Up to this point, we've been able to keep a pretty rational view on it. We pick out something that she no longer plays with to donate when she gets something new. She really likes to talk about how the other little girl or boy will like the toy, which I love. When people we barely even know give us things, such as a random stuffed animal from a claw machine, we automatically donate them before she sees them. Sometimes I go through her toys and pick out a few buried items that I know she no longer has any interest in, too.

And yet... there's still so much left! I always had dreams of a child's room with a few beloved toys and loads of books. She definitely has bookshelves filled to the brim--but many, many more toys than I'd ever dream up. That alone isn't the problem, either; if only it were too many toys, and not an attitude of consumerism along with them!

She demands things now. It's not that she gets what she demands; if she can't afford it with her allowance, she has to either save up for it or add it to her birthday wish list. It's just the fact that she wants so many things and has no problem getting rid of old things if it means she can have new ones. It pains me to admit that she even told us the other day that she'd gladly get rid of our "old" cats if she could get a new kitten!

While we patiently explained that our cats are members of our family, and that we just don't have room for another one, we were worriedly glancing at each other over her head. What do we do with all of these fervent desires our little girl keeps expressing? How can we teach her about being happy with what she has, the value of money, and the joys of simplicity beyond what we've been doing in an age-appropriate way?

Tags for this entry:
parenting, early childhood, money, consumerism, allowance

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